Flirting is completely different in different parts of the world: find out who's the most successful

Flirting is part of natural selection

Flirting is the starting point of many relationships when admiration starts to be expressed through initiative and real action. At the same time, it is a social behavior involving verbal and nonverbal expressions of interest.

While some flirting styles are culture-specific, many are universal, and psychologists who study flirting from an evolutionary point of view say that flirting is an innate process that has evolved through natural selection^[1].

In 2018, a meta-analysis of behavioral and attractiveness studies concluded that the behaviors most significantly associated with attractiveness were smiling, laughing, eye contact, and increasing physical proximity.

However, flirting differs in every part of the world. This is perfectly understandable. After all, there are more than 7,000 different languages in the world, and each of these languages comes from a unique culture where something as simple as eye contact can be understood quite differently.

The British or Americans flirt in one way, the Scandinavians or Germans in another, and flirting in South American countries is even more different.

The British are attracted by wit, the French by compliments

In the UK, great flirting is associated with quick wit and sharp jokes. British Hannah Dorling, the founder of Love Cruise Ships, has traveled the world and seen many a romance on a cruise. She says that in the UK, a lot of it comes down to depth, conversation and the ability to have a joke.

"British flirting is more successful through teasing jokes and intelligent wars of words rather than overt displays of interest. The mastery of open, inside jokes is an art that successfully deepens mutual affection between two people and increases intimacy," she says.

Sincerity is especially important in the United States. Language teacher Noel Wolff has observed that Americans flirt more openly and sincerely than the British and are less sarcastic.

In Spain, direct eye contact and lots of touching are essential. Michelle Massa, Spanish travel expert and Managing Director of Ibiza Summer Villas, says that Spaniards love active flirting and don't shy away from public displays of admiration^[2].

"Spaniards are very expressive people, so when they flirt, they tend to show it through direct eye contact and physical touch," he says.

Fiona Spinks, travel expert and publisher of Following Fiona, says the French have turned flirting into a high art. In this country, she says, prolonged eye contact, suggestive body language and rather sweet compliments are essential.

In Italy, flirting is just as romantic. According to psychotherapist Emily Mendez, Italy is famous for its extremely affectionate, romantic, and persistent men who are relentless in their attentions to their crushes. Serenades or even poetic expressions are more common flirting tactics here than in many other countries, she says.

In Germany, flirting is businesslike. Experts note that Germans have a reputation for being straightforward people, which is reflected in the world of dating and the search for love. They are not characterized by high romance, a desire to show off, or to impress with fancy rhetoric. Germany values honest communication and the truth, even if it can sometimes be a little painful.

In Denmark, flirting is also quite straightforward. According to travel expert Nicolai Lonne, the Danish flirting style is similar to the German one.

"Danish flirting is very straightforward. For example, we Danes are not very fond of playing games or making cryptic hints. We value honesty and openness, especially when it comes to our intentions," he says.

Flirting is also different in countries a little further away from Europe. In Latin American countries such as Brazil, Mexico and Costa Rica, flirting is fast and intense. In Mexico, experts say, flirting can be quite brazen and blatant, while in Brazil, people are in a hurry and may even go on a date with someone they only met a few minutes ago^[3].

Some flirting techniques are universal and work in many situations

Some non-verbal flirting techniques are quite versatile. For example, many people know that eye contact is important to show interest. A smile can also signal friendliness and openness to conversation, while compliments about a person's appearance, personality or achievements can make them feel attractive. Similarly, casual, subtle touches, such as a light touch on the arm, can create a sense of intimacy and connection, while a similar sense of humor can lighten the mood and create a close bond.

But not everyone flirts in the same way. In a 2010 study, more than 5 000 people were asked to rate how accurately different behaviours describe their own flirting styles. They concluded that flirting styles can be divided into five different categories:

• Traditional. Traditional style refers to flirting that conforms to traditional gender roles. People who use this style of flirting tend to expect men to approach women rather than the other way around.
• Physical. People with a physical flirting style tend to express their romantic interest in another person openly. This style of flirting is also associated with extraversion.
• Sincere. People who use a sincere flirting style are interested in making a deep emotional connection. They behave in a friendly, open manner and show a genuine interest in getting to know the other person.
• Playful. People who use a playful style of flirting see flirting as fun. They often flirt for fun rather than to build a relationship.
• Polite. People who use a polite flirting style flirt with careful adherence to social norms. They are extremely careful to avoid any behavior that might be considered inappropriate.

Of course, in real life, several flirting styles may be used at the same time, and a person may use different flirting styles in different situations.

However, this list of flirting styles makes it clear that flirting behavior varies between individuals, and although flirting is a universal phenomenon, the way we flirt depends on our individuality and social context.