I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
Funny jokes: the best of everything
Need a laugh fast? This is our hand-picked best-of list: short jokes you can remember after one read, clean jokes that are safe for the office, quick jokes that land in a text message and puns that earn a proper groan. Every joke is one tap away from your clipboard, so copy the one you like and send it to a friend, a group chat or a coworker who needs a break. If you want more of one kind, jump to the full collections linked below.
All jokes 60
Short jokes 15
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you."
Why can't you trust stairs? They're always up to something.
My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two tired.
I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I'll let you know which comes first.
The rotation of the Earth really makes my day.
Clean jokes for work 15
Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory? He took a couple of days off.
I asked my coworker if he could explain spreadsheets to me. He said he'd excel at it.
What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
Why did the developer go broke? He used up all his cache.
My manager told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
Why don't eggs tell jokes at the office? They'd crack each other up.
I told my team the meeting could have been an email. Now we have a meeting about that email.
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
Why did the HR manager bring a ladder to work? She heard the company was taking things to the next level.
I got promoted to Head of Ladders at work. It's a real step up.
Why did the accountant break up with the calculator? She felt he only cared about her figures.
Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs.
I wanted to become a professional procrastinator, but I kept putting off the interview.
Why did the team bring a pencil to the brainstorm? In case they needed to draw a conclusion.
I got fired from the orange juice factory. I just couldn't concentrate.
Jokes that work on text 15
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
I just found out I'm colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.
I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.
Why did the phone wear glasses? It lost its contacts.
What do you call a group of musical whales? An orca-stra.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner.
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
I named my Wi-Fi "Hack It If You Can." The next morning it was renamed "Challenge Accepted."
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with revenge. We'll see about that.
What's the best way to watch a fishing tournament? Live stream.
I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
Puns 15
I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
The past, the present and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.
I kept wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
A boiled egg every morning is hard to beat.
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
Velcro: what a rip-off.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
I'm terrified of elevators, so I'm taking steps to avoid them.
I was going to tell you a time-travel joke, but you didn't like it.
The shovel was a truly groundbreaking invention.
I used to work at a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying.
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the no-bell prize.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda. Luckily, it was a soft drink.
What do you call a dinosaur with a huge vocabulary? A thesaurus.
Becoming a vegetarian is one big missed steak.
What you will find in our joke collection
This page is the front door to the whole 77.today joke library. Here we keep sixty of our favorite jokes from every corner of the collection, and below we explain where to go when you want a full plate of one kind. Every list is written and edited by our team, checked for repeats, and kept clean enough that you will not have to apologize after sharing it.
- Dad jokes are the corny classics: puns about food, animals and work that make people roll their eyes and grin at the same time.
- Knock-knock jokes are the call-and-response format kids learn first and adults secretly still love.
- Jokes for kids are sorted by age, with riddles, school jokes and animal jokes that work for preschool and up.
- One-liners are single-sentence zingers about money, work and everyday life, perfect for captions and speeches.
- Dark jokes are for grown-ups who like morbid, absurd humor about death and terrible luck, without punching down.
- Thanksgiving jokes cover turkey, family dinner, leftovers and football.
- Christmas jokes bring Santa, elves, reindeer and snowmen to the holiday table.
What makes a joke actually funny
Most good jokes follow the same simple shape: a setup that points your brain in one direction and a punchline that suddenly turns it another way. The surprise is the laugh. That is why puns work so well: a single word carries two meanings, and the punchline reveals the second one you did not see coming. Short jokes are funny for the same reason, only faster. The less time it takes to get from setup to twist, the harder the twist hits.
The other ingredient is recognition. A joke about a printer that never works or a meeting that should have been an email lands because everyone has lived it. When you choose a joke, think about what your audience already knows. A joke about spreadsheets is gold in an accounting office and a blank stare at a fifth-grade birthday party.
How to tell a joke so it lands
- Know the punchline cold. Nothing kills a joke like "wait, how does it end?" Read it twice before you say it out loud.
- Keep the setup short. Cut every word that does not help the twist. If the joke works in one sentence, use one sentence.
- Pause before the punchline. A one-second beat gives people time to make the wrong guess, which makes the right answer funnier.
- Do not explain it. If it misses, smile and move on. Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog: you understand it better, but the frog dies.
- Read the room. Clean jokes are always safe. Save dark humor for people you know will enjoy it.
Jokes for work, texts and every day
Clean jokes are a small, easy way to make a workday better. Drop one into a team chat on Monday morning, open a presentation with one, or add one to the bottom of a weekly update. For texting, pick jokes that fit on a phone screen without scrolling; puns and short question-and-answer jokes are ideal because the punchline can arrive in a second message. If you want a joke for a holiday card or a family group chat, pair it with a warm message from our wishes collection.
Whatever you are looking for, start with the sixty jokes above, then follow the links to the collection that fits your crowd. We add new jokes regularly and never repeat the same joke on two pages, so every list is worth a scroll.
More jokes
DUK
FAQ
What is a good short joke to tell someone?
Try: "I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down." It is short, clean and works for any age. Our short jokes section has fifteen more that you can memorize in seconds.
What are some clean jokes for work?
Wordplay about everyday office life works best, for example: "I asked my coworker to explain spreadsheets. He said he'd excel at it." Avoid jokes about coworkers, politics or appearance, and you will stay on safe ground.
What is the funniest joke in the world?
There is no single winner, because humor depends on the audience. Jokes with a quick setup and a surprising twist, like puns and one-liners, consistently get the biggest reactions in mixed groups.
What jokes can I text a friend?
Pick something short that fits on one screen, such as a pun or a question-and-answer joke. Send the question first, wait for a guess, then send the punchline in a second message.
Where can I find more dad jokes and knock-knock jokes?
This page is our best-of list. For full collections, see our dad jokes page with eighty groaners and our knock-knock jokes page with sixty jokes for kids and adults.
Are these jokes appropriate for kids?
Everything on this page is clean. For jokes written specifically for young children, including riddles and school jokes sorted by age, visit our jokes for kids page.