What do you call Santa's little helpers? Subordinate Clauses.
Christmas jokes: 60 funny jokes for the holidays
Deck the halls with bad puns. These sixty funny Christmas jokes cover everything that makes the season merry and a little ridiculous: Santa and his chimney troubles, elves and reindeer, snowmen, family holiday chaos and a sleigh full of corny Christmas dad jokes. They are all clean, so you can use them in cards, cracker slips, school parties, office chats and the family group text. Tap any joke to copy it and spread some holiday cheer.
All jokes 60
Santa jokes 12
Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ho, ho, ho.
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claus-trophobia.
What do you call Santa when he's out of money? Saint Nickel-less.
Why is Santa so good at karate? He has a black belt.
How does Santa take pictures? With his North Pole-aroid.
What is Santa's favorite kind of music? Wrap.
What do you call Santa when he takes a break? Santa Pause.
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing. It was on the house.
What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
Who delivers presents to baby sharks? Santa Jaws.
Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it soots him.
Elf and reindeer jokes 12
What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
Why was the elf feeling down? He had low elf-esteem.
Who is an elf's favorite singer? Elf-is Presley.
How do elves greet each other? "Small world, isn't it?"
How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming? He checks his calen-deer.
Why did Rudolph get a bad report card? He went down in history.
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? Horn-aments.
What game do reindeer play at sleepovers? Truth or deer.
What is every elf's favorite sandwich? Peanut butter and jolly.
Why don't you ever see Santa in the hospital? He has private elf care.
What do you call an elf who just won the lottery? Welfy.
Why do reindeer wear fur coats? Because they'd look silly in parkas.
Snowman jokes 12
What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted flakes.
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
What did one snowman say to the other? "Do you smell carrots?"
Where do snowmen keep their money? In a snow bank.
What do you call a snowman in July? A puddle.
How do snowmen get around town? They ride an icicle.
Why did the snowman name his dog Frost? Because Frost bites.
What do you call an old snowman? Water.
How do you know when a snowman is mad at you? He gives you the cold shoulder.
What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps.
What do snowmen call their kids? Chill-dren.
What do you get if you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
Family Christmas jokes 12
Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting? They keep dropping their needles.
Our family Christmas tradition is untangling the lights for three hours and then buying new ones.
Christmas shopping is a lot like a marathon, if marathons had parking lots and panic.
The best Christmas present is a broken drum. You just can't beat it.
Mom says Christmas is about being together. Then she sends us to three different stores for one ingredient.
Every year I promise to start my Christmas shopping early. Every year it's December 23.
What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament? "Quit hanging around."
My uncle loves Christmas because it's the only time of year he can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of a sock.
Wrapping presents is easy. Finding the end of the tape is the real Christmas miracle.
Our family photo this year has nine people, one dog and zero people looking at the camera.
The Twelve Days of Christmas would cost a fortune, mostly in birdseed.
Corny Christmas dad jokes 12
What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas? Sandy Claws.
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? "It's Christmas, Eve."
Why was the snowman looking through the bag of carrots? He was picking his nose.
What do you call a reindeer with bad manners? Rude-olph.
What do you get if you eat too many Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis.
Why did the ornament go to therapy? It had too many hang-ups.
Why do Brussels sprouts dread Christmas dinner? Every year they're the last ones picked.
What do you call a greedy elf? Elfish.
How does a sheep say Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad.
What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? "Stick with me and we'll go places."
What do you call a Christmas tree that knows karate? Spruce Lee.
"Dad, can I have a puppy for Christmas?" "No, you'll have turkey like everyone else."
Why Christmas jokes are a holiday tradition
Christmas and corny jokes have been friends for a long time. Many families pull open paper crackers at dinner and read out the tiny jokes inside, and those jokes are famous for being terrible on purpose. The groan is part of the fun. A good Christmas joke is short, clean and built on a pun everyone can get, whether they are six or sixty: Santa's "Claus-trophobia," a reindeer with a "calen-deer," a snowman with frostbite. When the whole table groans at the same time, it is one of the coziest sounds of the season.
Jokes also help with the less magical parts of the holidays: long lines, tangled lights, a three-hour drive to Grandma's house and the moment when nobody can find the end of the tape. Laughing about the chaos turns it into part of the tradition.
Christmas jokes for kids
Kids love Santa, elf and snowman jokes because they already know the characters. Start with simple puns like "What do you call a snowman in July? A puddle," and let children read the punchline themselves. Christmas jokes are also great for classroom parties and holiday cards from kids to grandparents. For year-round options sorted by age, see our jokes for kids page.
Christmas dad jokes
Every family has one designated joke teller at Christmas, and for that person we have collected a whole section of Christmas dad jokes. "Dad, can I have a puppy for Christmas?" "No, you'll have turkey like everyone else." Deliver it with a straight face while passing the potatoes and enjoy the reaction. More all-season groaners are waiting on our dad jokes page.
How to use these jokes during the holidays
- Christmas cards. A short joke at the top of a card makes it stand out on the mantel. Follow it with a warm message from our Christmas wishes collection, so the card is both funny and heartfelt.
- Homemade crackers. Print a few jokes, roll them up with a paper crown and a small treat, and let guests read them out at dinner.
- Advent joke calendar. Share one joke a day from December 1 to Christmas Eve. With sixty jokes here, you will have plenty to spare.
- Office party. Clean puns about elves and reindeer are a safe icebreaker for a work holiday party or a team chat.
- Gift tags. A one-line joke on a gift tag is a small surprise before the bigger one inside.
Funny, not mean
Holiday gatherings mix people of every age and opinion, so the jokes on this page stay friendly. They tease the season itself, not anyone at the table. If you want something with more edge for adults after the kids are in bed, our one-liners are a good next stop. For the holiday before this one, our Thanksgiving jokes cover turkey and leftovers, and the funny jokes hub has the best of everything for the rest of the year.
More jokes
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FAQ
What is the funniest Christmas joke?
A crowd favorite is "What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus." It is clean, quick and gets a laugh from kids and adults.
What are good Christmas jokes for kids?
Snowman and reindeer puns work best for children, such as "What do you call a snowman in July? A puddle" or "Why did Rudolph get a bad report card? He went down in history."
What is a good Christmas dad joke?
Try "How does a sheep say Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad." Our Christmas dad jokes section has a dozen more corny classics for the family joke teller.
What jokes can I put in Christmas crackers?
Short question-and-answer puns fit cracker slips perfectly, for example "Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting? They keep dropping their needles."
How do I add a joke to a Christmas card?
Put a short joke at the top, then add a personal message underneath. Our Christmas wishes page has heartfelt and funny messages that pair well with a joke.
Are these Christmas jokes appropriate for work?
Yes. Every joke on this page is clean and pokes fun at the season, not at people, so they are safe for office parties, team chats and holiday emails.