Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off.
Thanksgiving jokes: 50 funny jokes for the whole table
Pass the gravy and the punchlines. Here are fifty funny Thanksgiving jokes for every seat at the table: turkey puns and dad jokes, easy jokes for preschoolers and kindergarteners, family dinner humor for the grown-ups, leftover jokes for the long weekend and a few for the football fans on the couch. They are all clean, so you can read them out before the meal, write them on place cards or text them to the family group chat. Tap any joke to copy it.
All jokes 50
Turkey jokes and Thanksgiving dad jokes 12
What did the turkey say to the computer? "Google, google, google."
Why did the turkey join the band? Because it had the drumsticks.
What is a turkey's favorite dessert? Peach gobbler.
What do you call a turkey that's running away? Fast food.
What sound does a turkey's phone make? Wing, wing.
What did the mother turkey say to her misbehaving kids? "If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected fowl play.
What kind of music did the Pilgrims like? Plymouth Rock.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside.
Thanksgiving jokes for kids 10
What kind of key can't open a door? A turkey.
Why did the pie go to the dentist? It needed a filling.
What is a scarecrow's favorite fruit? Straw-berries.
What do you get when a turkey lays an egg on top of a barn? An eggroll.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn't a chicken.
What is a turkey's favorite dance? The turkey trot.
Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building? Yes. Buildings can't jump.
What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him.
What do you call a turkey the day after Thanksgiving? Lucky.
Why did the Pilgrims' pants keep falling down? Because they wore their buckles on their hats.
Family dinner jokes for adults 10
Thanksgiving is the one day a year the whole family sits at the same table and argues about who brought the store-bought pie.
My family plays a Thanksgiving game called "Avoid Politics." Nobody has ever won.
Thanksgiving is when your uncle asks what you do for a living and then explains it to you.
I'm thankful for my whole family, especially the ones who brought dessert.
The kids' table is the only place at Thanksgiving where the conversation makes sense.
My aunt asked when I'm getting married. I asked when she's getting a new question.
Thanksgiving dinner takes eight hours to cook and eleven minutes to eat.
Grandma says the secret ingredient in her stuffing is love. My cardiologist says it's butter.
I promised to bring something to Thanksgiving. I brought my appetite and an excuse.
The quietest moment in my family all year is the first five minutes after the food hits the table.
Leftover jokes 9
Thanksgiving leftovers: the gift that keeps on gobbling.
My fridge after Thanksgiving is 90 percent plastic containers and 10 percent hope.
We made so much food that the leftovers are having their own Thanksgiving.
Day one: turkey dinner. Day two: turkey sandwich. Day three: turkey soup. Day four: the turkey is basically a member of the family.
Black Friday is when I fight crowds for a TV. Leftover Friday is when I fight my brother for the last slice of pie.
The last slice of pumpkin pie is the most dangerous object in America.
What's the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie? Your teeth.
The only diet I follow in November is the eat-it-before-it-goes-bad diet.
I put the leftovers away for later. Later lasted eleven minutes.
Thanksgiving football jokes 9
Why did the turkey get kicked off the football team? Too many fowls.
Thanksgiving football is the only time my dad yells at the TV and then falls asleep in the fourth quarter.
My uncle's favorite Thanksgiving sport is competitive napping.
Our family football game ended with two sprained ankles, one broken window and zero touchdowns.
On Thanksgiving, the only thing passed more often than the football is the gravy.
I'm thankful for football. It gives my uncles somewhere to yell that isn't the dinner table.
Thanksgiving is the only day you can watch three football games in a row and call it family time.
My cousin tried to spike the ball during our family game. It landed in the gravy boat.
The halftime show at our house is Mom asking who ate all the rolls.
Why jokes belong at Thanksgiving dinner
Thanksgiving brings together people who might not see each other the rest of the year: grandparents and toddlers, cousins from three states, the new boyfriend and the uncle with opinions. A few good jokes are the easiest way to warm up a table like that. They give everyone something to laugh at together, they fill the awkward pause while the turkey is being carved and they steer the conversation away from topics that will not survive the second helping of stuffing.
The best Thanksgiving jokes are the ones everyone can get. Turkey puns, pie jokes and gentle teasing about the family's traditions work for every age, from the kids' table to the head of the table. Save the sharper humor for later in the evening, when the dishes are done and the adults are still at the table.
Thanksgiving jokes for kids
For preschoolers and kindergarteners, choose short question-and-answer jokes with an obvious play on words: "What kind of key can't open a door? A turkey." Little kids love saying the punchline themselves, so let them read or repeat it. Our section for kids is built for ages three to eight, and many of the jokes double as a simple activity: write the question on one side of a paper turkey feather and the answer on the other, then let the kids pass them around the table. Find more year-round options on our jokes for kids page.
Thanksgiving jokes for adults
Grown-ups tend to laugh hardest at jokes about the holiday itself: the eight hours of cooking for eleven minutes of eating, the relative who asks the same personal question every year and the leftovers that outlive everyone's patience. These are friendly jokes about shared experiences, which is exactly why they work. Nobody is the target, and everyone recognizes their own family. If you want a joke with a little more bite, take a look at our one-liners.
Thanksgiving dad jokes
Every family has someone who considers Thanksgiving the Super Bowl of puns. If that is you, the turkey section is your playbook: "Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected fowl play." Deliver it while carving, and wait for the groan. More classic groaners live on our dad jokes page.
Ways to share the laughs
- Place cards. Write a joke on the back of each name card and have guests read theirs aloud before dessert.
- Joke jar. Fill a jar with folded jokes and let each person draw one between courses.
- Group chat. Send one joke a day during Thanksgiving week to build up the holiday mood.
- Cards and messages. Pair a joke with a warm note. Our Thanksgiving wishes page has messages for family, friends and coworkers that go perfectly with a funny line.
When the leftovers are gone and the decorations change, our Christmas jokes are ready for the next round, and the funny jokes hub has something for every other day of the year.
More jokes
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FAQ
What is a good Thanksgiving joke?
A favorite is "If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims." It is clean, a little clever and works for kids and adults alike.
What are some Thanksgiving jokes for preschoolers?
Short, simple puns work best for little kids, like "What kind of key can't open a door? A turkey" or "Why did the pie go to the dentist? It needed a filling."
What are funny Thanksgiving jokes for adults?
Jokes about the holiday experience land best, for example "Thanksgiving dinner takes eight hours to cook and eleven minutes to eat." See our family dinner section.
What is the best Thanksgiving dad joke?
"Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected fowl play" is a classic. Tell it while carving the turkey for maximum groans.
How can I use jokes at Thanksgiving dinner?
Write them on place cards, put them in a joke jar to draw between courses, or read a few before the meal to get everyone laughing.
Can I add a joke to a Thanksgiving card?
Yes. A short joke followed by a warm message makes a memorable card. Our Thanksgiving wishes page has ready-made messages to pair with your favorite joke.